Heartsick
by Peeta Melark
Summary: After the events of "House of Hades," and perhaps even "Blood of Olympus." Nico is washed ashore on Calypso's island. But he finds it in his heart to help her because he cannot love her.


Nico didn't know where he was when he woke up. All he knew was that he was surrounded by sand and there were trees overhead, and… there was a beautiful girl leaning over him. She stroked his cheek, sighing softly. When she saw his eyes flutter open, her hand snapped back and she scrambled to her feet. Nico sat up.

"Where…?" He wanted to ask where he was, but his mouth felt as dry as the sand he was lying on. The girl smiled, but she looked sad.

"You are on Ogygia," she murmured. "My island and my prison."

Nico frowned, finding his voice to say, "I don't understand."

The girl brushed her caramel hair away from her warm, brown eyes and laughed without joy. "I am Calypso," she said, barely audible over the roaring of the waves. The waves… Nico felt a stab of pain in his heart. Percy. Calypso must have seen the hurt in his eyes because she took his hand.

"Come," she begged. "Let me care for you, hero."

She led him towards a big, dark cave. Inside, it was like a small house. There was a loom with half-finished silver fabric, a small table with a few books, and a small bed. There was also a large chest of drawers. Calypso pulled one open, extracting a shirt and a pair of pants. She handed them to Nico.

"These should fit you. I will leave while you dress. There is a small spring in the adjacent cave if you wish to bathe, which I suggest you should."

Nico tugged awkwardly at his dirt-streaked clothes. For the first time, he noticed how much sand and grime he was covered in. Calypso gave another breathy, broken laugh.

"Call for me when you are ready." Without another word, she turned and left.

Bathing wasn't an issue, nor was dressing. It was calling for Calypso that Nico felt qualms about. He had heard the stories. She was the girl Percy had promised to free, the girl the gods had sworn to free. And there Nico was, standing in her cave, unable to love her because he was… Oh gods. He couldn't. He just _couldn't_ admit it, not even to himself. Because admitting it would mean he'd have to accept it as who he was, no matter how much he hated himself for it.

Finally, he found the breath to call for Calypso. She glided in, her long chiton floating behind her, white and clean. Nico felt guilty for not finding her more attractive. Calypso seemed to know this. When she took his hands, she looked very sad.

"You must go, Nico di Angelo," she said, leaning close to him. He turned away.

"I can't leave you here." The words felt foreign, and they were from pity, not love.

"You must," Calypso insisted. "I cannot hold you here. This is _my_ curse to bear, not yours. Why should I keep you here when you cannot love me?"

Nico gasped. "How did you—?"

Calypso gave a rueful smile. "You said his name," she confessed. "In your dreams, you spoke to him, and I listened. I think… I think it was a nightmare."

Nico shuddered. He remembered that dream. He was watching Percy fall into Tartarus for the millionth time; and for the millionth time, he'd done something different. He had been a second faster, saved Percy and Annabeth the second before they dropped. And then it was over. He had woken up to see Calypso leaning over him.

"I'm sorry," Nico whispered. "I'm really sorry."

Calypso nodded absently, looking a lot like she wanted to cry. Nico wished he could do something, but he knew there was nothing he could do. The only thing he could do was hope she got off of the island sometime. Then the thought hit him.

"I'll get you out of here," he said. "I can shadow-travel us—the gods won't know until it's too late. They won't be able to send you back because they already promised to let you go."

Hope flickered in Calypso's eyes, masked by unyielding pain. With trembling hands, she reached up to cup Nico's face, leaning up to kiss him. When their lips met, Nico felt nothing. All the fight went out of him, resigned to the fact that he could never love a woman—not even one like Calypso. There were no fireworks, no smiles; just the meeting of cold, chapped lips to soft, warm ones. It wasn't anything beautiful. He couldn't feel what he knew Percy and Annabeth felt when they kissed. He felt cold.

Calypso pulled away, blinking back tears. "Thank you," she whispered.

"I'm so sorry," Nico said again.

"Let's just… just leave," said the immortal girl, running her hands through her hair. Nico grabbed her hand, holding it as gently as he could. Then he gathered the shadows around them, praying silently that it would work. As soon as the shadows pulled them in, he squeezed her hand a little tighter just to make sure she was still there. When they appeared in Camp Half-Blood, he hardly dared to open his eyes.

When he did, Calypso was standing next to him, looking around in wonder, a smile spreading across her face. She pushed her hair away from her eyes, staggering slightly as she ran to get a better look at everything. The cabins, the dining pavilion, the amphitheater. Everything. Nico smiled to himself. If he couldn't love her, surely someone here could.

"Watch it, beautiful!" said a jovial voice. Nico glanced over to see Leo and Calypso staring at each other. Leo's mouth was slightly open, and Calypso was looking Leo up and down with her brown eyes, taking in every inch of his disheveled looks. A smile broke out across her face.

"I-I'm sorry," she stammered, reaching out a hand to steady herself on his arm. "Please forgive me, hero."

Leo laughed wholeheartedly. "Hero? Nah. You can just call me Leo."

Calypso laughed, and it was the first time Nico had heard her do so happily. She ran trembling fingers through her hair, holding it away from herself for a moment too long before letting it drop back over her shoulders.

"But… you _are_ a hero."

Leo shook his head, curls bouncing. "No, ma'am, I'm just Leo. Now about that café we were gonna start—I was thinking…"

Nico turned away, smiling through a haze of stinging tears. Everywhere he turned seemed cold. There was one way to go now. He had to honor what he'd told Jason. He was leaving Camp for good.

As he took one last look at Camp, he saw Leo and Calypso holding hands… Perhaps, he thought, they had met before. And he saw Percy and Annabeth share a loving, tender kiss. The pain in his heart was what gave him the final scrap of courage to let the shadows close in around him, taking him far away from the world he knew without even a goodbye to Hazel. And he felt, in those moments, truly heartsick.


End file.
